Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Some days are good, some are bad and some are good & bad.

December 10th, 2007

I often have a hard time letting things roll off my back. I’m much, much better than I used to be, but sometimes I still get pulled into that trap. That’s kind of how I’m feeling right now.

One of our senior sergeants, I guy I really like, retired today. Retirement and promotion ceremonies can be a formal or relaxed as you want. This one was pretty formal. Several of the military folks were in their “Class A Uniform” (as apposed to the “Army Combat Uniform,” or ACU, I see them in every day). I was walking down the hall and saw the unit’s senior enlisted man, who was coordinating everything. I commented that I barely recognized him all dressed up. He said “Master Sergeant B’s retirement ceremony is today. I think he’d like it if you were there.” I was planning to go anyway, but this little comment made me smile. When people I admire accept and appreciate me, it makes me feel good.

One of the neat things some of the enlisted folks did was present the flag, very similarly to how the honor guards do it. I always love the folding of the flag, because I have special memories of it. My dad taught me how when I was around 10 or so & in the Girl Scouts. (And when he died, his coffin was draped with the flag, because he was a veteran. As the American Legion fellows were folding it, and the bugle was playing taps, I could see my dad sitting in his comfy chair, leaning forward, instructing me fold by fold.) This folding was very precise and as each fold was made, the emcee spoke of what each fold means. I’d never heard that before and it was quite interesting, if a bit dated.

But this afternoon, all I got was “I need your help” for things that aren’t my responsibility and beyond my control. The crowning moment came when I sent a request to my headquarters asking for some assistance. What came back was a snotty e-mail saying to look it up on Google. The guy then called to say he had Googled it and found the answer in 2 minutes. As I was driving home, I wondered why this irritated me so much and found the answer. If I had been in his shoes and found the information, I would have passed it on.

People often tell me I’m too nice. Maybe I am, but I’m not sure I could live with myself any other way.

Posted in Family, Head Games, Military, Work | Comments (0)

Twenty-five

September 30th, 2007

I started watching Ken Burns’ “The War” on PBS last night. (I know it started last Sunday, but I recorded it and started watching last night.) World War II is about the only piece of history that I’ve ever been interested in, probably because my parents lived through it and I grew up with stories and pictures from the era.

The show reminded me of a thought I’d had many years ago. I had graduated from college and grad school and was working my first real job. (I made $15,000 a year, which was pretty good for a first job in those days.) It was the first time I was living on my own, without a roommate. I had a studio apartment with a large walk-in closet, full kitchen with a separate eating area, and a private entrance.

Because the apartment had parquet floors, I bought a large remnant from a carpet store, and had its edges bound. It worked very nicely as an area rug and warmed up the cold floor. I’d bought a sewing machine with my very first income tax refund and made drapes for the large windows in the dining and living areas. During the day, I made up my twin bed with large bolster pillows so that it could function as a sofa. I bought a very nice folding table & chairs to use as my dining set. And I purchased a bent-wood rocker from a K-mart type store that I put together myself.

Everything in the apartment was mine. I’d either purchased it myself or made it with materials I’d bought on my own. Nothing was a cast-off from my parents or other relatives. Nothing was really “make do” until something better comes along. It was the year I turned 25 and I marveled at how autonomous I’d become. I felt very grown up.

Then I reflected back on where my father had been at that age.

My father was in his first year of law school when WWII  broke out. He signed up for the Navy, and because he already had a college degree, he became an officer. By the time he was 25, he was far off in the Pacific, operating a ship, responsible for the feed and caring of a group of men at war. And while his environment was absolute luxury compared to the Marines on Guadalcanal or the Army survivors of Bataan; he was still far from home, with an enormous responsibility, and the threat of attack never far from his mind.

There is just no comparison that can be made.

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Thursday Thirteen: I need this one

August 23rd, 2007

I sat in a briefing today that really peeved me. It puts the folks I work with in a bad light, and I feel horrible for them. They are terrific people who are working their asses off; and now, if the briefing slides don’t change between now and next Thursday, there is going to be hell to pay. We will have to scrape no less than three senior officers off the ceiling. So, in order to make the evening more enjoyable, here are:

Thirteen things I’m grateful for:
  1. my paycheck, which is rather nice
  2. my commute to work, which is pretty easy
  3. my car, a 2000 Lexus (I bought it used) that runs like a dream
  4. the people I work with. They’re very smart and hard working and I’m so privileged to know them.
  5. my home, which provides me immense comfort
  6. Kristen and Michael’s impending new arrival
  7. in addition to Kristen, her two brothers, who are the absolute bestest
  8. my renewed interest in knitting, which allows me to make adorable things for #6
  9. all the kitties that have graced my life with their unconditional love; Brandy, Cassie, Chelsea, Britta, Gigi, Daisy, Kimmi and Shadow (even though his unconditional love is sometimes a bit too much)
  10. Michelle Market, whose specialties are a perfect fit for my neuroses
  11. my iPod, which has allowed me to download songs from Supernatural and make CDs for my “best friend-in-law” and me
  12. Supernatural Season 1 DVD sets being on sale so that I can buy a whole bunch of them to give out to others
  13. several friends who have birthdays this month who will be getting Supernatural DVDs and CDs as presents.

Yes, it’s true. It really does all boil down to Supernatural! :D

Posted in Family, Supernatural, Thursday 13, Work | Comments (0)

The nose knows

August 22nd, 2007

Update to the saga of the bloody nose: So, I went to the ENT on Monday. He gave me three choices.

  1. Do nothing. (He doesn’t recommend that. Neither does one of my co-workers—the only one who asked about it.)
  2. Have the blood vessels cauterized. This wouldn’t take very long (he was willing to do it Monday!) and there’d be no down-time.
  3. Have surgery. (Eeek!) Apparently I have a significantly deviated septum, which I did not know. He can straighten it out and snip some of the mucous bearing membranes. (And he’d cauterize those pesky blood vessels at the same time.) It’s minor surgery, taking about an hour that he can perform at his facility, but it requires general anesthesia. And I’d have about a week downtime.

So, being the totally indecisive person that I am, I asked to think about it. Yesterday I went back & forth on options 2 and 3. I’ve never had “real” surgery, and have never been totally out. But I like the idea of being out from work for a week or so, even if I do have some discomfort. (Yes, I dislike the job that much!)

But last night I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t breathe. The nose was totally plugged up. So, my decision has been made. I can’t schedule the surgery for about another month since work is pretty busy up until the end of September. (Oh hell, work is always busy, but my presence is critical for the next few weeks. Unless I croak, of course. In which case they’d do just fine without me because they’d have to.)

Ah, I’ll be able to sleep in, pet the kitties, play computer games, and watch massive amounts of Jewelry tv. If I could have the surgery sooner, I’d also be able to finish the baby blanket I’m knitting for my niece before her baby is born next month. (Lucky little girl! Her birthstone will be sapphire—my favorite.) As it is now, though, it’ll be a race to the finish.

Posted in Family, General | Comments (1)

More writing from the heart

June 21st, 2007

Well, my essay for this week about my grandfather is finished.  Except for the printing &/or copying.  (I need to find a place where I can copy the paper as I don’t really want to use up my printer ink spitting out 7 copies.)  I had actually started the piece for last week’s assignment, but I couldn’t write anywhere near the 5 pages (doubles spaced) requested.  But I decided to expand the scope of the essay and at one point had 7 pages.  And there was still more I could have added.  But I was able to pare it down to 5 pages, keeping the most interesting things.

My first essay was a big hit!  The class and instructor had a few comments to improve it, which I haven’t incorporated yet.  I plan to upload it here as a separate page, but haven’t done so yet.  That would be a good project for this weekend.  (And since it’s in Word, there will probably be a shit-load of fixes I need to make before it looks presentable.)

I don’t know that the class is helping me write more creatively; but then, I’ve only been to one class so far.  I still write like I talk, just a little more refined.  However, the essays are helping expand my ideas of how to word certain phrases for high impact.  And I’m using fewer prepositions.  Now if I can just stop overusing and and but (& their synonyms) to start sentences, I might be on my way.

The site of the Arts Center where the class is held is in a hoppin’ section of Arlington.  There are several trendy restaurants around the area; and since today is my birthday, perhaps I’ll try one before class.  Or, I could just go to the Silver Diner, enjoy a classic burger, oldies music and a chocolate milkshake.  Yummm.

Posted in Family, Write Right | Comments (3)

Writing from the heart

June 17th, 2007

I’m taking a writing class. The idea is to possibly write a memoir about my parents. I came to this conclusion after a heavy-duty session with my counselor. The impetus for it was the season finale of Supernatural. In it, one of the brothers sells his soul in order to bring his brother back to life. (Hey, the series is named Supernatural for a reason!) As selling brother says as he’s getting his ass reamed by the fabulous Bobby Singer, “At least maybe now my life can mean something.” To which Bobby says “And it didn’t before? Are you that screwed in the head?”  (To which I always reply, “Yes, Bobby, he is.”)

This scene really affected me because I’ve often felt the same way.  Why am I here?  I haven’t procreated, I’m stuck in a job I don’t like, I’ve alienated a couple of great friends, my only brother and I are estranged, and I haven’t done any extra-curricular activities in several years.

Ever since my father died over 10 years ago, I’ve wanted to write about my parents. They were part of the “greatest generation.” The things they lived through as young adults, I can’t even fathom. And they were two of the best people I’ve ever known. (They weren’t necessarily the best parents, which is partly why I’m so screwed in the head, but they were wonderful people, and I’m so glad I got to know them as an adult.)

While I’m a fairly good writer, I’m not terribly creative. I’m hoping this class will help me tap into some part of my brain I haven’t used yet. Wish me luck. By the way, for my first assignment, I wrote about a trip I took last week to Fort Worth, Texas. You can read about it ad nauseum here. (Most of the posts on the first page relate the story. And I’ll be writing about it here, too, because it was just that awesome!) This week, I’m going to write about my grandfather, Sigel Overholt.  Funny name, wonderful man.

Posted in Couch Critic, Family, Head Games, Write Right | Comments (3)

Spring has sprung (redux… again)

April 21st, 2007

I think spring is finally here. It’s about damn time, too!

I drove into DC yesterday. My niece was in town & we had planned to do lunch together. I’m always timid about driving into DC, and I don’t know why. It’s not like driving in Manhattan, or Italy, or even Boston. The streets are fairly well laid out, and the drivers are reasonable, for the most part. The only “hazard” this time of year is the tourists. At one of the stoplights, I looked to my left & there was the Washington Monument. And when I turned to drive up Independence Ave, the Capital loomed in front of me. It really is a terrific feeling.

My niece’s office is on Pennsylvania Ave, near the Navy Memorial. I met Kristen at the restaurant. She’d walked thru the memorial’s plaza and said they were setting up for some sort of ceremony. I figured it was probably a retirement ceremony. After lunch, we strolled into the plaza and sure enough, someone was retiring. The ceremony was just finishing up and she got to see the officer being “piped ashore.” And I was there to explain what was happening and some of the Naval traditions.

I’ve seen the Navy Memorial driving by from the street, but I never stopped to take a closer look. It’s really beautiful, especially on such a lovely, sunny day as yesterday. There are numerous fountains and pools of water, and they absolutely glistened in the sun. Even the animals were enjoying the day—I noticed a lone duck swimming in one of the pools. I have no idea where he came from. He was the only one in sight, so it’s not like there’s a flock (or whatever a group of ducks is called) resident in the area. My only regret is that I didn’t take any pictures. I had my camera with me, and yet I kept it in my purse. So I have no remebrance of the day except my memory. I really need to get back into the shutterbug habit.

Posted in Family, Military | Comments (0)

Unexplainable remembering

April 9th, 2007

We have a big 4 day conference coming up, starting tomorrow, and the fellow who’s coordinating it works next to me. He’s been working late every night for quite a while. I know his pain. When I was in the Navy, I had to plan a big conference 2 years in a row. Late nights, no acknowledgement, no thanks.

The first year, I had my foot in a cast. Fortunately, it was a walking cast (crutches are evil things!), but it was still a pain, both literally & figuratively. The second year, my mom was in the final stages of her terminal illness. In fact, the idiot senior officer gave me duty the Saturday after the conference (and I worked closely with him). And that Saturday, my mom took a turn for the worse. Everyone tried to get ahold of me, but I wasn’t at home, and I wasn’t at my desk at work. When I got home Sunday morning, there were several messages on my answering machine. They had taken her to the hospital and she wasn’t very coherent. I made my plane reservations for Monday, but Sunday night my dad called to say she had passed away.

As I was thinking about that, a sudden wave of intense sadness came over me.  This was the 2nd time in as many weeks.  Even tho she’s been gone for 20 years, I’ve recently been longing for her company.  I’m not sure why I’m having these feelings again.  She died in December, not in April.  Her birthday is in February, so that’s not the trigger.  I have no answers.  I guess it’s just best to remember what a remarkable and wonderful woman she was.

Posted in Family, Work | Comments (0)

February 12th

February 12th, 2007

Three of my favorite people were born on this day. The most famous is Abraham Lincoln. I wrote a somewhat long post about him last year, and why he was so special to me. Unfortunately, I’ve changed blogs a couple times since then, so that post is lost forever. Perhaps next year I’ll revive some of it.

Another of those is my dad’s cousin, Connie Carr McCutcheon. She’s one of my 2 favorite relatives, along with my dad’s brother, Uncle Rod. [There are 2 other people I put in my favorite people category that I'm not related to by blood. One is my nephew's wife, Debra, who died unexpectedly about a year & a half ago. The other is my sister-in-law's sister-in-law.  More about them later, too.]

And last but by far not least, there’s my most favorite person ever—my mom. It’s hard to believe that she’s been gone for nearly 20 years. When we first found out she was terminal, I remember looking at her across the breakfast table, and I absolutely could not think of life without her. She’d always been there for me. And while she wasn’t necessarily the best parent (nor was she by any means the worst), she was the best person I ever knew. She had an absolute heart of gold. She didn’t crave the spotlight, but instead worked behind the scenes many times so that others could shine. And she never asked for much in return. Consequently, I think some people may have taken advantage of her, but I’d have to say that nearly everyone who ever knew her, knew she was someone very special.

I’ve learned to live without her. But there are times, like now, that I’d give just about anything to see her again.

Posted in Family | Comments (0)

December 7th

December 7th, 2006

I noticed today that the Post Office distribution center had their flag at half staff. I was trying to think of why, and I can only assume that it’s because today is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Immediately my thoughts went to my parents and wondered just what they had gone through.

My dad was in his first year of law school at the University of Iowa (then called the State University of Iowa, because Iowa State was just a college). My mom worked at a bank in Chicago. They had been dating for a couple years and it was serious enough for both of them to know this was the person they would eventually marry. Dad signed up for the Navy and went off to Officer Candidate School. I remember Mom telling me that they thought the war wouldn’t last very long, but it was something like two years before she got to see him again.

That’s also when she started smoking. She said it’d be months before she heard anything, and everyone else was doing it. It just seemed to be the thing to do. I guess it helped ease her anxiety. Sadly, she was never able to kick the habit, and eventually the cigarettes took her life.

I met with my cardiologist today. He’s such a good doctor and so easy for me to talk to. He has 2 young kids, who I imagined were getting excited for the holidays, so I wished him a Merry Christmas. He told me that this year was a little tough because his mother died about a month ago. He mentioned that the hole is really huge, which I can certainly relate to. I thought about telling him that I understood, because my mom died just a few weeks before Christmas. But this was his moment to grieve a little. There was no need for me to turn it around and make it about me, even if I’d have meant it in the kindest of ways.

Posted in Family, General | Comments (0)